BM MERMAIDS, LONDON, WC1N 3XX – Phone: 0208 123 4819 (Mon-Sat 3-7pm when staffed)
Web: www.mermaidsuk.org.uk – email: mermaids@freeuk.com
Mermaids is a support group for children and teenagers who have their own gender identity issues, also their families etc. Our remit (and our lack of relevant experience) prevents us from helping the children of adults who are transgendered, unless those children also may be considered to be gender variant. From time to time we occasionally receive requests for help for children who are troubled by a parent’s transgenderism, or who need some form of help and support whilst they adjust. This document contains all the current information that is available to us, and is intended to be used as a factsheet. If anyone has any further information that could be usefully added to this, please let us know!
Depend (http://www.depend.org.uk) email info@depend.org.uk – this is a support group for the loved ones of transsexual people, it runs several email lists with varied remits. There is a family list, but so far the youngest member is about 13. It’s for UK people only. Although as Depend is a support group for the loved ones of transsexual people, we don’t have enough personal experience to be able to really help – we’d possibly need to be transpeople with the experience of transitioning whilst our children were still minors, in order to be able to provide the right kind of information and support. There are also two partners lists (for the partners of FTM and MTF transpeople). These are listed on the Depend website http://www.depend.org.uk.
For those in the UK there is help to be had for children who are having problems associated with having a parent who is trans, from the Gender Identity Development Unit at the Tavistock Clinic – this is NHS. They will act as expert witness in court cases too (not NHS), as well as seeing children and teens with their own gender issues (NHS). (also see Books, below – A Stranger In My Own Body))
The Gender Identity Development Service
The Tavistock Clinic, 120 Belsize Lane, London NW3 5BE tel 020 8938 2030 http://www.tavistockandportman.nhs.uk/childrenyoungpeoplegenderidentityissues
Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES): This registered
charity provides publications that:
- Give readily comprehensible explanations, of gender identity development
and transsexualism, to children in the preteen or teenage groups who have a
trans parent. - Help clinicians, school administrators and other professionals to support
children who have a parent experiencing gender discomfort and transsexualism or are themselves experiencing gender identity development issues. This material explains the origin of these conditions and their effect on the parent, the child and other members of the family. - Imbue understanding and tolerance in the peer groups of children who have a
trans parent or are themselves experiencing gender identity development
issues. - Advise trans parents on how to obtain Court help in maintaining contact
with their children in cases where a partner is denying proper access.
http://www.gires.org.uk – admin@gires.org.uk – 01372 801554
Perhaps WOBS )Women of the Beaumont Society) may also be able to offer advice…
www.gender.org.uk/wobsmatters. They also run a yahoo group: http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/wobsmatters
And there are email lists for trans people who are parents starting to pop up….
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Transparent-International/
http://www.gender-id.com/TSInfo/Family/Kids.htm#Parent – some useful resource links
You may also find useful information at Abigail Garner’s Families Like Mine site: http://familieslikemine.com/
This site has message boards for people dealing with kids & family: http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/
There’s a Kids of Trans tag for this blog, too:
http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/tag/kids-of-trans/
COLAGE does a lot of work with LGBT parents, & coming out:
http://www.colage.org/category/resources/for-lgbtq-parents/
They have specific information on how to come out to your kids:
http://www.colage.org/resources/coming-out-to-your-kids/
More information here: the Straight spouse network http://www.ssnetwk.org/
(this is USA based but has a UK branch)
Children of lesbians and gays everywhere UK contact: Anna Carlsson
Email: anna.carlsson@gmail.com Mobile: 07752 418947
Transfamily is based in the USA but may be helpful – their website is comprehensive and they run various email lists. http://www.transfamily.org/
http://www.tsroadmap.com/family/ – lists resources
http://www.avitale.com/FriendsandFamilies.htm – a list of assorted resources.
Fluff the Bunny – http://home.comcast.net/~fluffbunny/fluff.html – this is a children’s story, which may be helpful for younger children.
http://www.fsatoronto.com/programs/ ures.html#three – use search facility for relevant articles.
http://www.wpath.org/journal/www.iiav.nl/ezines/web/IJT/97-03/numbers/symposion/ijtc0601.htm Transsexuals’ Children, a paper by R Green.
Books:
- Families Like Mine: Children of gay parents tell it like it is (covers LGBT) by Abigail Garner, pub. HarperCollins, ISBN 0060527579
- Out of the Ordinary: Essays on growing up with gay, lesbian, and transgender parents. ISBN 0312244894 Pub. Stonewall Inn Editions
- A Stranger in My Own Body, ed. by Di Ceglie (Karnak Books) can be read online:
http://www.questia.com/library/book/a-stranger-in-my-own-body-atypical-gender-identity-development-and-mental-health-by-domenico-di-ceglie-david-freedman.jsp
Ch. 14: Children of Transsexual Parents (You can get a free 1 day trial in order to read it) - http://snipurl.com/ggdo possibly – (one for LBGTQ teens)
Compiled by Mermaids – Updated October 2012 – all links checked
© Mermaids 2012